Summers come and go quick as they came taking with them our lovers and leaving vivid memories behind. Grace Halio takes us into what remains once the dust clears on Long Island, once you pick yourself up and begin the process of moving on.
I can still remember what moving on looked like...
remnants of the summer
things like crickets and gasoline,
bonfires and ratty sweatshirts,
remind me of how
meredith would ride shotgun in the ford
and i would drive half the length of long island.
colored by beaches, bagels, and best friends,
open roads at 1am, the sound of frank sinatra.
i spent this summer waiting to get over a lost love,
endlessly recounting how old habits are hard to break.
once, he taught me how to golf,
which ultimately was a failed venture.
i played baseball for eight years
and i couldn’t — can’t — swing a golf club for the life of me
simply because the movement isn’t the same.
there is a photo of us
where i am caught off guard
and grasping onto his arm.
i still know the feeling of his button down,
and the feeling of the summer wind.
i am slowly letting go
of those moments, memories.
waiting for old habits to disappear,
knowing that i can unlearn them.
my best friends and I know that we can fall back on friendship,
but this doesn’t change the fact that we are each still waiting
for someone to love us in all of the right ways.
there was one morning that i woke up
and found a kind of clarity, happiness,
with someone else
the kind that makes me feel like it’s a saturday morning
even if it’s a thursday at 8 a.m.
where the sun is warm
and i’ll buy raspberries at the farmers market
just because everything feels right,
like it’s finally fallen into place.
i’m slowly learning
is a process of healing
Editor's Note: A version of this poem appears on Washington Square News' creative writing blog, Under the Arch.
Grace finds herself bouncing around what she considers the best of New York. From Long Island to Brooklyn to Manhattan, she draws inspiration from the lovely and not-so-lovely people and things in the places she goes. She is currently studying Journalism at New York University and recently spent four unforgettable months abroad in Florence, Italy.